Not Settling for Anything Less

Trying to cultivate a relationship without communication is difficult. I remember on my wedding day, the message was about the importance of communication in a marriage. Our pastor urged us to focus on communication as the cornerstone of our marriage to keep us strong and connected. So why would my relationship with God be in any different?

I would try to read scripture and it mostly felt like a chore. I would pray and it mostly felt like I was talking to a wall. Surely Jesus didn't die so I could talk to walls and drag around a large book that talks about a relationship that is waiting for me only after I get to heaven. Somewhere along the way I fell for a lie, that led to an agreement, that led to discouragement, that led to hopelessness.

I knew God was talking to other people. That only made the problem worst. If he is talking to them and not me then the problem is me. I don't pray enough. I don't seek him enough. I don't read his Word enough. I have some hidden sin that is keeping him from getting closer. The list could be endless. When I say it out loud I see how ridiculous it is. But it was rolling around in my head for years. For some reason if you never say it out loud you never get to hear how fully it contradicts his Word.

I wasn't recognizing who I was because of his grace. Deep down I believed I wouldn't be who I needed to be until I was in heaven. His grace was my entry ticket. Sadly, a lot of the Church thinks this way. A lot of the Church is still wondering around just as confused as the rest of the world, as if they don't have access to the throne room of a King who has it all the answers. It has rendered us discontent and powerless.

We were made to enjoy him. We were made to hear him. I'm already his. I can already hear him. I'm not settling for anything less than what I was made for and what he died to give me; a relationship with him.